5 Stupidly named games I own
5 - Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. The Soulless Army
If you have to write your title super-small on the side of the box, it’s too long.
4 - Syphon Filter
Something to do with purifying liquid? Try again. A part for a car? It's good, but it's not the one. Give up? It's a biological weapon. The words actually fit together rather well, but how on earth did they come up with that?
3 - Steambot Chronicles
What on earth is a ‘steambot’? Any ideas? Seemingly, they are giant two-legged robot fighting machines/vehicles that you control. And I know what you are thinking, but no, they aren't steam powered.
Looking at the characters suggests they really struggled with finding names for this game. The main character is seriously called 'Vanilla R. Beans'. The lead vocalist? Coriander. Backup vocalist? Savory. The bass? Basil. Future tip guys - don't get character names from your kitchen cupboard.
The Japanese name was 'Bumpy Trot', which would have been much better.
2 - Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
Released in the same year as the NEW silent film 'The Call of Cthulhu', which no-one has heard of, and based on the 1926 short story, which no-one has heard of, this title left everyone wondering what a Cthulhu is. And how to pronounce it. And is it a Welsh village?
It's a cosmic entity, apparently.
And the Earth doesn't have corners, duh.
1 - Ar Tonelico II: Melody of the Metafalica
Seriously, is this deliberate? It's like they've followed the step-by-step guide for 'how to make a daft title' to the letter. Firstly, make up two words, and use them as your title. Secondly, make it clear that it's a sequel to a game that your customers can't buy*. Then, in the super small subtitle, make the only clear bit of the title be that the game somehow involves music. Finally, add another unknown word on the end (which apparently means 'song of creation').
So, all you get from a rather long title, is that it's possibly something to do with singing. In a game entirely about innuendo, they could at least put one in the title. 'Ar Tonelico: Thrust Into Her Soul' perhaps?
Apparently, the sequel will be called 'Ar Tonelico III: Melody of the World's Demise'. I’m willing to put money on it having a threesome comment on the back of the box.
*The European publisher for the first game didn't sell it in the UK, only in France and Italy, despite the game being ENTIRELY IN ENGLISH.
If you have to write your title super-small on the side of the box, it’s too long.
4 - Syphon Filter
Something to do with purifying liquid? Try again. A part for a car? It's good, but it's not the one. Give up? It's a biological weapon. The words actually fit together rather well, but how on earth did they come up with that?
3 - Steambot Chronicles
What on earth is a ‘steambot’? Any ideas? Seemingly, they are giant two-legged robot fighting machines/vehicles that you control. And I know what you are thinking, but no, they aren't steam powered.
Looking at the characters suggests they really struggled with finding names for this game. The main character is seriously called 'Vanilla R. Beans'. The lead vocalist? Coriander. Backup vocalist? Savory. The bass? Basil. Future tip guys - don't get character names from your kitchen cupboard.
The Japanese name was 'Bumpy Trot', which would have been much better.
2 - Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
Released in the same year as the NEW silent film 'The Call of Cthulhu', which no-one has heard of, and based on the 1926 short story, which no-one has heard of, this title left everyone wondering what a Cthulhu is. And how to pronounce it. And is it a Welsh village?
It's a cosmic entity, apparently.
And the Earth doesn't have corners, duh.
1 - Ar Tonelico II: Melody of the Metafalica
Seriously, is this deliberate? It's like they've followed the step-by-step guide for 'how to make a daft title' to the letter. Firstly, make up two words, and use them as your title. Secondly, make it clear that it's a sequel to a game that your customers can't buy*. Then, in the super small subtitle, make the only clear bit of the title be that the game somehow involves music. Finally, add another unknown word on the end (which apparently means 'song of creation').
So, all you get from a rather long title, is that it's possibly something to do with singing. In a game entirely about innuendo, they could at least put one in the title. 'Ar Tonelico: Thrust Into Her Soul' perhaps?
Apparently, the sequel will be called 'Ar Tonelico III: Melody of the World's Demise'. I’m willing to put money on it having a threesome comment on the back of the box.
*The European publisher for the first game didn't sell it in the UK, only in France and Italy, despite the game being ENTIRELY IN ENGLISH.
posted by Stefarno @ 23:37
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