Annoyances XVII - Wikipedia zealots

Each article about an F1 race on Wikipedia used to have a short notes section at the end, predominantly containing milestones. I found these hugely interesting, and would skip from race to race just reading these rather than the rest of the article.

Typical examples would be:

*Last Formula One race for Nicola Larini.
*First podium: Nick Heidfeld
*This race featured the highest number of finishers of the 1992 season (18 cars).
*This was the last grand prix to be held in November until the 2008 Brazilian Grand Prix.
*Alex Yoong did not qualify for this race due to the 107% rule. This would be the last time in Formula One that a driver has failed to qualify for a race due to this rule.
*Lap leaders: Gerhard Berger 54 (1-23, 41-71), Nigel Mansell 16 (24-39), Pierluigi Martini 1 (40)

etc, etc, etc.

And now they are slowly being removed, and lost in a sea of text.

Cocks.

Annoyances XVI - Capri Sun

At work, we used to sell little cartons of juice. They were cheap, nice and simple. The world was a happy place.

Then we changed to selling Capri Sun. And all hell broke loose.

Firstly, a carton, being a simple cuboid, was super easy to stand upright. These bloody Capri Sun pouches fall over all the time. And when we sell some, and need to move them forwards, no longer can we just push them. Oh no, we have to move each one individually.

Then, sometimes the opening at the top isn't lined up properly, so people can't actually drink it. Or the bloody thing falls over while open.

And they cost 50% more for the same quantity of juice.

But worst of all, is the eyes. Having failed to stand a pouch upright for the third time, the last thing I want to see is an apple with eyes staring back at me. It makes me want to stab it. And everyone else in the room. Repeatedly.

How 2 - Exit a relationship

Murder her. Chop her up into tiny pieces. Scatter the pieces around the country. Find a single girl. Enter a relationship with her.

If she asks about your ex, just say you had a messy separation.


(Yes, I did post this purely because of the joke)

Child labour

The price is right, but they seriously need to work on the quality.

If you can't trust a 50p t-shirt from El Salvador to be well-made, what can you trust?

If needs be, i'll pay the extra and get my t-shirts from Honduras - so get your act together, you El Salvadorans.