Annoyances XVIII - Blogs that don't update very often

Especially when they used to update more frequently.

Annoyances XVII - Wikipedia zealots

Each article about an F1 race on Wikipedia used to have a short notes section at the end, predominantly containing milestones. I found these hugely interesting, and would skip from race to race just reading these rather than the rest of the article.

Typical examples would be:

*Last Formula One race for Nicola Larini.
*First podium: Nick Heidfeld
*This race featured the highest number of finishers of the 1992 season (18 cars).
*This was the last grand prix to be held in November until the 2008 Brazilian Grand Prix.
*Alex Yoong did not qualify for this race due to the 107% rule. This would be the last time in Formula One that a driver has failed to qualify for a race due to this rule.
*Lap leaders: Gerhard Berger 54 (1-23, 41-71), Nigel Mansell 16 (24-39), Pierluigi Martini 1 (40)

etc, etc, etc.

And now they are slowly being removed, and lost in a sea of text.

Cocks.

Annoyances XVI - Capri Sun

At work, we used to sell little cartons of juice. They were cheap, nice and simple. The world was a happy place.

Then we changed to selling Capri Sun. And all hell broke loose.

Firstly, a carton, being a simple cuboid, was super easy to stand upright. These bloody Capri Sun pouches fall over all the time. And when we sell some, and need to move them forwards, no longer can we just push them. Oh no, we have to move each one individually.

Then, sometimes the opening at the top isn't lined up properly, so people can't actually drink it. Or the bloody thing falls over while open.

And they cost 50% more for the same quantity of juice.

But worst of all, is the eyes. Having failed to stand a pouch upright for the third time, the last thing I want to see is an apple with eyes staring back at me. It makes me want to stab it. And everyone else in the room. Repeatedly.

Annoyances XV - Windows update restarts

These updates aren't rushed out (most of the time), but left until a set day each month. Also, I can choose not to download them at all, and you don't really moan that much.

But when I do, you'll nag me at least every 4 hours, and happily restart my computer without needing any confirmation from me. Even if the computer is doing something. Something that isn't saved.

I'd rather you didn't just restart without asking me, thanks all the same.

Annoyances XIV - '2012'

The Olympics, not the year.

I would love nothing more than to see than 'team GB' to fail to achieve a single medal.

It would keep me amused for MONTHS.

Annoyances XIII - When you can't tell if water is hot or cold...

...as it just caused your hand to tingle a little.

Well, the answer yesterday was that it was hot. Incredibly hot. So hot my hand still hurts.

Next time, i'm using a temperature probe.

Annoyances XII - Sleep

Why does my body work against me.

I know when I need to get sleep. I know when I want to wake up, and I know about 8 hours should be ok.

But obviously, my body decides that this isn't a good idea. It wants to keep me awake for the next 5 hours.

Then, when I have no reason at all to get up before it goes dark this evening, to wake me up at half 5 in the morning.

Half 5, ffs.

Annoyances XI - Hatred of traffic wardens

I could understand if an individual was ticketing people undeservedly, targeting vulnerable people, or something like that.

Ok, several parking regulations are daft, and it costs far too much to park in the city centre (I mean, it's not like they would want to encourage you to go in there, is it?).

But the thing is, they don't dictate parking regulations, and there needs to be someone going around penalising those who fail to abide by the regulations to act as a deterrent, otherwise carnage would ensue, and people would just park anywhere.

They are just doing their job, a job someone needs to do, so why all the abuse?

Considering the widespread disregard for parking restrictions, personally i'd say there isn't enough of them. Just because the double yellow lines are outside a Tesco, doesn't mean you can park there. Sorry.

Annoyances X - Pins and needles

Is there no other way our body can alert us?

I get it a lot, 5-6 times a day, and it's seriously annoying. Especially when it wakes you up. Like today.

Body, please stop doing it. Cheers.

Annoyances IX - Rubbish on the news

When I sit down to watch the news, I want to see just that, news.

As in, politics, business, what's going on around the world, how far we are away from removing the human race from existence, that sort of thing.

If I wanted to hear about what happened in a reality show, then I could have quite easily watched it myself.

And don't try and end the news on a happy note. You've spent the last 29 minutes telling me about how the country has a debt that will take 250 years to pay off, i'm going to lose my job, i'll be dead by 35, the EU has introduced a law stopping me from having fun, there is a famine in the entire southern hemisphere, the state pension age is going up to 120, i'll be stabbed if I go outside, illegal immigrants are setting up camp in my garden, house prices have fallen 110%, global warming will flood my house in the next 10 minutes, terrorists are planning to blow me up and it's not even going to be sunny tomorrow.

But, you've told me about a cat that went back to it's owners old house. Well, things are alright then.

Annoyances VIII - Corned beef tins

Why not use, you know, a normal tin? The type everything else is in?

If the little key is so great, then why don't we use it on other tins?

Oh, that's right, because it never works properly. And half the time you end up cutting your hand on the tin.

Maybe corned beef tasted better scooped out from a half-open tin and covered in blood, however i'm yet to be convinced of that.

Annoyances VII - Image verification boxes

It is 2010. Just last year, this was the future.

So in these futuristic times, is there really no better way of proving i'm not a machine than making me type in some text at a funny angle i'll get wrong the first 3 times I try it?

Kudos to rapidshare for getting rid of this.

Annoyances VI - Software license agreements

If you want to give me a huge long list of what I can't do with your software, then fair enough, I probably can't stop you.

However, getting me to pay for it and then stating that I have to agree with you, or I can't use what i've just paid for? Seems a tad harsh really.

You've backed me into a corner, i'd probably agree to give you my soul if it resulted in being able to use the software.

Annoyances V - 'Zero tolerance'

The ultimate phrase for getting tough on things. Want to shout to everyone that you mean business? Then brandish these two words with reckless abandon.

Except, it's generally a good idea to have at least a small degree of leniency, for, you know, unforeseen circumstances, and would be much fairer overall to judge everything on a case-by-case basis. But that isn't a good soundbite, so forget I said that.

And it's not actually effective. But people will have forgotten about it by the time they realise that, so forget I said that too.

Annoyances IV - 'The next big thing'

Never is, is it?

Annoyances III – Swear filters

I’ve yet to experience one that has been able to get the balance right between being overzealous and pointless. Probably because it that place doesn't exist.

You see, the problem with words is that they have many variations. Words are sometimes contained within words, or as I don't call it, the ‘Scunthorpe problem'.

Then you have custom filters. Like a game that bans words such as ‘noob’, for seemingly no reason.

As everyone knows, they are obviously easy to get round, by use of slightly altered words, spaces, non-letters or even hidden characters. Which is obviously is far better.

People make such an issue about swearing, and I fail to see why. Is it really the end of the world?

You cunt.

Annoyances II – YouTube Slideshows

What on Earth is the point?

I’d almost make an exception if it was a video of a song, but really, you only need a single picture.

But videos that are just a selection of pictures of a sporting event? It’s easy to find pictures online. They are widely available; seemingly many websites decided a while ago that pictures were a good thing. And they also decided to make them of much higher resolution than your crappy slideshow. And, for some reason, they decided against using every single rubbish transition in existence.

I’m sure there are better uses of your time than making these, hopefully uses that i’m not likely to click on when searching for a video of something.

Annoyances I - Steam

I mean the hot games one, not the hot air one.

In theory, digital distribution is awesome. Quick and easy access to whatever you want, whenever you want, tiny distribution costs resulting in lower prices for the consumer and more flexibility for the developer. And it's one of those things that is obviously 'the future', and you feel a bit trendy for using.

It’s a shame it doesn’t work like that, isn’t it.

The ability to downloaded content is considered a convenience and therefore priced as such.

The bane of the publisher is pre-owned games. They get nothing from their sale, the entire profit margin (which is HUGE) goes to the retailer.

To be honest, it’s not as bad as they make it out to be. The retailers use the revenue to discount new games, and the customer often exchanges the game instead of getting cash, resulting in another sale. The resale potential makes a £35 game appear better value, and is a way to introduce new customers to a series. Despite all this, they ignore it and just think of the margin.

Let’s take Steam as an example, easily the most popular game distribution service there is, with somewhere around 75% of the market.

I’m strictly limited as to how I can use the games i’ve paid for in comparison to boxed games - I can’t lend the game to a mate for a week and I can’t sell it once i’ve finished. However, these are roughly comparable to the convenience provided.

But biggest problem, by far, is that in the vast majority of cases, it costs more to buy a game on Steam than to get a physical copy.

In the end, all things come down to money. While Steam competes favourably with the RRP, few games are ever actually sold at anywhere near that price. Physical copies are subject to strong retailer discounting and competition. Steam isn't.

For example, Football Manager 2010. I paid £17.95 for a boxed retail copy. A boxed copy that has a code in the manual, allowing you to link it to your Steam account, making it the same as the Steam version, and leaving you with a spare unneeded copy. Steam sell the game at £29.99 (with the RRP apparently being £39.99).

Admittedly, there are often limited time offers on Steam (like the one on now), bringing the price down to favourably compete with retail for a limited period... however there goes the benefit of availability if you can only buy games cheaply in a limited window of opportunity.

Publishers need to be wary, in that digital distribution reduces the difference between buying games and piracy. They need to make it cheap and convenient enough, or people will jump for the free option.

The current pricing model for computer games is obviously broken. 80% of games released don’t make a profit, being subsidised by the ones that do. And people wonder why there are so many sequels.

So, maybe it's time to think about volume rather than profit margin?