Top 10 games (which you probably haven't played)

Here is my top 10 recentish (I think all the games apart from one are from the last 5 years) games which I think you probably haven't played. I cheated a bit by including a couple of sequels.

I'll (eventually) do a description of each one individually, but thought i'd give you the list for now, so you can see that I do more than just moan about things. And i've included a link to the metacritic reviews, so you can see what the consensus was at the time. Aren't I nice?

1 - Persona 3FES & 4 (PS2) - MC 89,90
2 - Psychonauts (PS2/Xbox/PC) - MC 86-88
3 - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS) - MC 76-81
4 - rFactor (PC) - MC 78
5 - Ben There, Dan That / Time Gentlemen, Please! (PC) - MC N/A, 84
6 - Sam & Max: Season 1&2 (PC/360/Wii) - MC 74-85
7 - Fahrenheit (PS2/Xbox/PC) - MC 83-85
8 - Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (DS) - MC 78
9 - Global Defence Force (PS2) / Earth Defence Force 2017 (360) - MC N/A,69
10 - SOS: The Final Escape (PS2) - MC 66

Annoyances IX - Rubbish on the news

When I sit down to watch the news, I want to see just that, news.

As in, politics, business, what's going on around the world, how far we are away from removing the human race from existence, that sort of thing.

If I wanted to hear about what happened in a reality show, then I could have quite easily watched it myself.

And don't try and end the news on a happy note. You've spent the last 29 minutes telling me about how the country has a debt that will take 250 years to pay off, i'm going to lose my job, i'll be dead by 35, the EU has introduced a law stopping me from having fun, there is a famine in the entire southern hemisphere, the state pension age is going up to 120, i'll be stabbed if I go outside, illegal immigrants are setting up camp in my garden, house prices have fallen 110%, global warming will flood my house in the next 10 minutes, terrorists are planning to blow me up and it's not even going to be sunny tomorrow.

But, you've told me about a cat that went back to it's owners old house. Well, things are alright then.

Annoyances VIII - Corned beef tins

Why not use, you know, a normal tin? The type everything else is in?

If the little key is so great, then why don't we use it on other tins?

Oh, that's right, because it never works properly. And half the time you end up cutting your hand on the tin.

Maybe corned beef tasted better scooped out from a half-open tin and covered in blood, however i'm yet to be convinced of that.

Annoyances VII - Image verification boxes

It is 2010. Just last year, this was the future.

So in these futuristic times, is there really no better way of proving i'm not a machine than making me type in some text at a funny angle i'll get wrong the first 3 times I try it?

Kudos to rapidshare for getting rid of this.

Annoyances VI - Software license agreements

If you want to give me a huge long list of what I can't do with your software, then fair enough, I probably can't stop you.

However, getting me to pay for it and then stating that I have to agree with you, or I can't use what i've just paid for? Seems a tad harsh really.

You've backed me into a corner, i'd probably agree to give you my soul if it resulted in being able to use the software.

It's snow day for updating a blog

Yeah, i've been a bit lazy.

Annoyances V - 'Zero tolerance'

The ultimate phrase for getting tough on things. Want to shout to everyone that you mean business? Then brandish these two words with reckless abandon.

Except, it's generally a good idea to have at least a small degree of leniency, for, you know, unforeseen circumstances, and would be much fairer overall to judge everything on a case-by-case basis. But that isn't a good soundbite, so forget I said that.

And it's not actually effective. But people will have forgotten about it by the time they realise that, so forget I said that too.

My 360 now has it's own blog!

http://www.360voice.com/tag/Stefarno1988

If you are curious about what it's been upto lately.

1 Awesomely named game I own

1 -Attack of the Mutant Camels

How can anything compete with that?

5 Stupidly named games I own

5 - Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. The Soulless Army

If you have to write your title super-small on the side of the box, it’s too long.


4 - Syphon Filter

Something to do with purifying liquid? Try again. A part for a car? It's good, but it's not the one. Give up? It's a biological weapon. The words actually fit together rather well, but how on earth did they come up with that?


3 - Steambot Chronicles

What on earth is a ‘steambot’? Any ideas? Seemingly, they are giant two-legged robot fighting machines/vehicles that you control. And I know what you are thinking, but no, they aren't steam powered.

Looking at the characters suggests they really struggled with finding names for this game. The main character is seriously called 'Vanilla R. Beans'. The lead vocalist? Coriander. Backup vocalist? Savory. The bass? Basil. Future tip guys - don't get character names from your kitchen cupboard.

The Japanese name was 'Bumpy Trot', which would have been much better.


2 - Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

Released in the same year as the NEW silent film 'The Call of Cthulhu', which no-one has heard of, and based on the 1926 short story, which no-one has heard of, this title left everyone wondering what a Cthulhu is. And how to pronounce it. And is it a Welsh village?

It's a cosmic entity, apparently.

And the Earth doesn't have corners, duh.


1 - Ar Tonelico II: Melody of the Metafalica

Seriously, is this deliberate? It's like they've followed the step-by-step guide for 'how to make a daft title' to the letter. Firstly, make up two words, and use them as your title. Secondly, make it clear that it's a sequel to a game that your customers can't buy*. Then, in the super small subtitle, make the only clear bit of the title be that the game somehow involves music. Finally, add another unknown word on the end (which apparently means 'song of creation').

So, all you get from a rather long title, is that it's possibly something to do with singing. In a game entirely about innuendo, they could at least put one in the title. 'Ar Tonelico: Thrust Into Her Soul' perhaps?

Apparently, the sequel will be called 'Ar Tonelico III: Melody of the World's Demise'. I’m willing to put money on it having a threesome comment on the back of the box.

*The European publisher for the first game didn't sell it in the UK, only in France and Italy, despite the game being ENTIRELY IN ENGLISH.

Annoyances IV - 'The next big thing'

Never is, is it?

Annoyances III – Swear filters

I’ve yet to experience one that has been able to get the balance right between being overzealous and pointless. Probably because it that place doesn't exist.

You see, the problem with words is that they have many variations. Words are sometimes contained within words, or as I don't call it, the ‘Scunthorpe problem'.

Then you have custom filters. Like a game that bans words such as ‘noob’, for seemingly no reason.

As everyone knows, they are obviously easy to get round, by use of slightly altered words, spaces, non-letters or even hidden characters. Which is obviously is far better.

People make such an issue about swearing, and I fail to see why. Is it really the end of the world?

You cunt.